- Published: November 25, 2021
- Updated: November 25, 2021
- Language: English
- Downloads: 18
The human being and their society are always constant motion. In modern life, there are new tendencies which a lot of different than traditional countries appear. One of aspects changed quickly all over the world is love, marriage and family. A flower cannot without sunshine and man cannot live without love. (Max Muller) Love is a sacred and wonderful sentiment. In generation past, marriage and living together forever are a last destination of love. However, in recent decades, many couples often living together before marriage and after that they decide to walk down the aisle or not. Pre- marital cohabitation definitely has proximate causes which from objective reason to subjective reason. Besides, living together before marriage also has its benefits and injuries. The last and most important is consequences which leave behind. Every phenomenon or every tendency always has its inducement, and phenomenon of cohabitant is not an exception. There are many reasons caused to living together before marriage. Right now, I am going to mention some of them. Firstly, I will discuss the objective reasons which come from society.
The problem was due to the influence of sexual revolution in the West countries from 1970s. With the lack of social knowledge and future-oriented led to sexual relation and living together before marriage are growing quickly in young adults. This phenomenon is more and more popular because of their curiosity and imitation of their friends. The way that young people climbed on the bandwagon turns them to dissolute people. If they feel incompatible, they will break up. Young adults are no longer considered their vital event: marriage and family. Secondly, family is also an important reason cause to phenomenon of cohabitant in young couples. Their parents don’t have the happy marriage; quarrels happen frequently and especially, adultery that makes them not want to married. In contrast, they regard marriage as a binding. Besides, in some cases, parents don’t take care of their children’s life and emotion and don’t advice, encourage their children to have a healthy lifestyle. Thirdly, the last and the most important is the subjective reason.
This reason derives from inside of the young generation. They are influenced by love quickly and inhabit folding lifestyle nowadays. Some of them imagine love by a new thinking; that is speed love. Young couples are promoted by the sexual needs that need be sated. In addition, it can be due to life away home and lack of emotional and physical. When the couples who decide to live together before marriage they also realize some benefits for them. And there are few advantages of this phenomenon. The first advantage is financial relief. When they live together under the same roof, they can reduce their cost of living such as: food, house renting, electricity and water charges, etc. Therefore, they can save more money to do what they want. It also help them how to use money wisely and control their budget because they have to think for their partner. (http://datingwithdignity. com/2013/02/pros-and-cons-of-living-together-before-marriage/ ).
The cohabiting couple is sharing their bills.
The second benefit is compatible test. It is easy to observe their partner’s natural personality mutual and know how they react to each other when they are angry, stress, jealous or happy. In addition, it is a good opportunity to know how they respond to problems and check their compatibility. They can practice to keep the romance alive while having some difference. (http://datingwithdignity. com/2013/02/pros-and-cons-of-living-together-before-marriage/ ). The third positive point is no divorce. If the couple is not compatible after a period they live together, it is easy to break up and leave the house. Moreover, it also helps them save more time and money because they are not involved in law. Living together before marriage has just some minor advantages, but it also exist many major disadvantages.
Foremost, couples who live together before marriage often exposed to higher rate of divorce. Here are some statistics on living together before marriage from Michael McManus, author of the book “ Marriage Savers”. “ Statistically speaking, living together is not a trial of marriage, but rather the training for divorce. More than 8 out of 10 couples who live together will break up either before the wedding or after wards in divorce. About 45 percent of those who begin cohabitating, do not marry. Another 5 to 10 percent continue living together and do not marry”. (http://www. rayfowler. org/2008/04/18/statistics-on-living-together-before-marriage/ ).
The high rate of divorce.
People who cohabit and then marry more likely to divorce than people who marry without living together because cohabiting couple have the right to walk away from their anytime if there is any inconsistency. And they have not any commitment to prove their relationship. When they cannot be sure for their future, they cannot enjoy the life about emotion and sex relation comfortably.
Secondly, couples who are cohabitation less likely to marry. They think that “ Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free”. (http://rafiq23. hubpages. com/hub/Pros-Cons-of-Cohabitation ). In America, one research of Columbia University shows that only 14 percent of couples get married after living together. In this 14 percent, they always conflict and argue. Attach to this reason is the increasing ability of adultery. The couples are not responsible to each other, it is easy to fall in love with another person can meet their needs. Therefore, couples who live together before tying the knot feel less secure in their relationships while marriage’s long term contract encourages emotional, loyal investment in the relationship.
Thirdly, cohabiting couples are not accepted in a legal status. Accurately, they do not have a right or obligation of married couples. For instance, they cannot help each other in medical emergencies or receive benefit from another pension. Especially, they cannot inherit each other’s property because they have not paper or proof their relationship. Living together before tying the knot need is not only has an unexpected ending but also have many affects to individual, family and society. That leads to change demography in Marriage and Family area. According to the statistic about Marriage and Family, there are fewer couples who married with a commitment while ones who living together without married. And more and more children were born from unmarried mothers. The social consequence, children of cohabiting couples are due to lack of fully education from both father and mother caused to divorce rate higher than average to 170 percent. They also meet many social and emotional issues such as drug abuse, depression, dropout or lower academic performance, etc. Moreover, risk of sexual or emotional abuse three times higher. Similarly, unmarried women are more likely than married women to suffer to sexual or physical abuse. The children of cohabiting couples are dropout of school or lower academic performance.
The individual consequence, majority of cohabiting couples unforeseen or unavoidable consequence after break up. Women often suffer these bad results. About the health, they are at risk of sexually transmitted diseases such as AIDS, syphilis, etc. Reproductive tract infections, abortions result in complications such as infertility or cancer. About psychology, after the shock they would disbelieve in love and marriage. Some of them become an irresponsible because they no longer have a virgin to preserve. That’s why they can have sex indiscriminately with many persons and then spread to their sexually transmitted diseases for those men. In conclusion, living together before walk down the aisle is a common trend all over the world. Despite existence of advantages and disadvantages, many unmarried couples also have a happy life. However, no everyone can achieve their desire result. In my opinion, to have the happy ending you who want to live together before marriage should considerate carefully to have the right decision. And when you decide to cohabitate, each of you must mutual enough and has a stable job in order to own your life.
1. Pros and cons of living together before marriage http://datingwithdignity. com/2013/02/pros-and-cons-of-living-together-before-marriage/, excerpted: May 6, 2014 2. Top 10 advantages of live in relationship over marriage http://listdose. com/top-10-advantages-of-live-in-relationship-over-marriage/, excerpted: May 5, 2014 3. The verdict on cohabitation vs. marriage http://marriageandfamilies. byu. edu/issues/2001/January/cohabitation. htm, excerpted: May 8, 2014 4. Advantages and shortcomings of living together before marriage http://mskhaily. wordpress. com/2012/10/07/advantages-and-shortcomings-of-living-together-before-marriage-outline/, excerpted: May 5, 2014 5. Pros and cons